Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
