I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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