My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's the barista slut.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
