Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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