guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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