my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
