I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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