also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
