she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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