i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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