Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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