fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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