It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
