16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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