I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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