We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
