i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
