We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im part way to drunk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
