obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
