I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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