All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
