I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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