My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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