Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
