I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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