I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't turn off my feet"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
