no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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