And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
