i just had sex bonerless
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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