can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
