Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
