I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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