you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There r osticjed everywhere
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm like, not good at living.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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