girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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