he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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