did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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