I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
