Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
