Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just google imaged poop.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
