Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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