Dual....:-)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
