Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
