Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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