put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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