areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
is it fun? or sober?
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