Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
