Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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