did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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