Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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