I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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