I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
