I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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