my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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