it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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