I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
