This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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