I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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