I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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