Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
