You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
