do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize