Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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