Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
