I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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