xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
