too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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