I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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