Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
